


if you could tell how much i love you

by uminotake



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, kind of bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27213409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uminotake/pseuds/uminotake
Summary: Another day, another argument, another headache which Iruka now kept a prescription for.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Kudos: 42





	if you could tell how much i love you

Another day, another argument, another headache which Iruka now kept a prescription for.

They’ve been together as long as he could remember, from the hazy and careless days when he was a mere chuunin to now, a bit older, the more wiser, a successful academy teacher loved by many. Yet what was supposed to be young and exciting escalated into something much much worse and fast.

He should have foreseen the warnings. Years of letting Kakashi into his own life and he still felt like he was sleeping beside a stranger. Most of the things he learned about the older jounin was from the big mouth of his former disgruntled student over ramen and of course it wasn’t the greatest things. 

Being long trusted friend’s with The Third allowed him to peek within the confidential _‘Bingo Book of Hatake, Kakashi.’_ which was totally for the purposes of learning about Naruto’s new teacher and not because he had that desperate itch to scratch… really.. Most of the information was classified, aside from the more general knowledge that Iruka already knew. He didn't feel like sushi tonight.

Then there were rumours floating around the mission room which often included the copy-ninja’s name and the dozens of women and men he was seen around with, which apparently he wasn’t deprived of either as the cheeky Genma quoted. Iruka knew better than to listen to such insolent gossip on a whim but sometimes he’d walk through the hallway and catch a peek of ‘last night’s’ lover, and couldn’t help but think such nasty thoughts that made him feel unbecoming of an academy teacher.

He didn’t know what was true or what wasn’t. Kakashi answered other people’s questions the same way he answered his own and when Iruka did learn more about him through his own mouth it was almost always started by an argument. Could they even call themselves lovers at this point? Iruka loved the man truly with all his heart and there were times when it was peaceful, sitting together talking about the lovely mornings, and Naruto and Sakura, and Iruka’s new students, and his changing curriculum. Sometimes they’d meet up for walks and sneak just a little more touches than usual, which made him feel as good as the first time. Often taking them down memory lane with similar awkward shoulder touching and eye flirting.

Was that enough, however, when their fights had an even worse impact? When everyday seemed to push them further and further apart, the more arguments, the more feelings of frustration and anger and indifference. He knew their relationship had already run its course, Kakashi probably already realized this before he did.

Shaking his head out of his thoughts, Iruka pulled himself away from the door he slammed only minutes before, storming towards his bedroom. He wasted twenty minutes of his time agonizing over this problem; it would do him no favours if he was late to class again.  
***

Iruka saw him again that day for his shift in the mission room despite still being angry with eachother, and even though there were other lines available Kakashi still chose to go to his. Kakashi wasn’t looking at him and that was alright with Iruka who grudgingly rummaged and handed him a mission scroll with his name on it: by the looks of it, it didn’t seem like anyone was joining him. Iruka watched the man turn to walk away, his lips pressing into the smallest of frowns. Yet again he’s taken into the other man’s ways. Feeling just a little more worried and lightheaded, he takes a second pill that hour.

A few days later Iruka was sleeping in their room. He intended to be well rested for tomorrow’s events as the batch of kids he was assigned were quite troublesome, dare he say worse than Naruto(nevermind, he wouldn't say it was that bad). Thankfully another teacher had offered to help him with the outside drills and despite not wanting to be pitied; he accepted the offer almost instantaneously. He would be an idiot not to.  
The window behind him crept open silently and he would never have noticed if not for the breeze that settled into the room. The bed slanked down and a body crawled in next to him, a hand snaking against Iruka’s own person. He was wide awake now despite not opening his eyes.  
“Kakashi…” Iruka muttered in a semi-annoyed tone. He didn’t hear a peep from the other, but Iruka immediately caught the scent of deep pine from a whole body set he gifted Kakashi for his birthday a year ago. The man took a hefty cleanse at his own apartment before coming there, which Iruka didn’t want to think about, “It’s cold damnit..”  
Kakashi opened his mouth, took a deep breath, and didn’t say anything. He only settled closer against the chuunin. Iruka frowned, and wiggled away, turned around to face him, and returned the embrace, feeling for any bruises on him. There wasn’t, atleast none visible anyway . With a relieved sigh, Kakashi’s head found a way into Iruka’s hair without a word, and pressed the gentlest kisses that made Iruka’s heart melt; the harsh words they spoke days before nothing but another memory as their lips met eventual warmth and the covers drawn.  
They were both prepared to give up, waiting for the other to elicit the cruel words that would forever halt the torment. God knows they needed to for their own sanity. But Kakashi was still not ready to let go. And neither was Iruka.


End file.
